(by Lorie Codispoti)
Unlike my father, who would send us pictures of his underwater adventures & discoveries when he was stationed overseas, I never really took to being in the water. I enjoy being ON the water (boat) & looking AT it from the shoreline; I simply don’t like being IN the water. As a result, I am a lousy swimmer.
Suffering is like being thrown into a raging sea during a storm. And since I'm not a good swimmer, I immediately begin my search for a floating device that I can grab & cling to while I ride out the storm.
(In this broken world no one escapes suffering. We will either experience it ourselves or watch others tread their way through their own relentless storm. Sadly, the typical cliches offered by the shoreline lookie-loos are more like floating toothpicks than a life saving log of driftwood.)
Along with God’s word I have found a device that has helped me stay afloat, & I want to share it with those who feel like they are drowning in a sea of suffering.
In the world of psychology there is a technique called “meaning making.” It’s a process that enables people to make sense of their pain. The goal is to derive meaning from their experiences, & it involves constructing meaning from an event based on one’s “beliefs, goals, & feelings.”
This technique has a powerful influence on a person’s thoughts, emotions, & actions. And while it may produce some positive results I also think it is problematic.
I don’t know who said, “To change the response change the story.” but if I am the source that gets to change the story, if I am the one who reassigns meaning to my challenges then the outcome is based on my own understanding or wishful thinking & that's far too subjective for me. I don't need to pull a waterlogged toothpick from my pocket; I need a life-saving Source that is bigger than myself.
One behavioral therapist notes that we humans are all “meaning making, pattern seeking, story telling creatures.” That may be a great thing if you’re a writer seeking to bring meaning to the stories within your narrative, but what about the young wife & mother who has been diagnosed with a terminal cancer? Or the family facing foreclosure due to the loss of a job? Or the teenager who was raped by her neighbor? Or a child who suffers from 80% of his body being burned? Or the woman who desperately wants children but suffers multiple miscarriages? Or the one forced to flee with her children due to an abusive husband?
Sadly, I am familiar with each one of these cases. The question isn't which toothpick they need. It's about how to encourage them while I pray for God to send a giant piece of driftwood. While each one may be capable of assigning multiple “meaning making” scenarios to their individual stories, in the end it’s not about their ability to manufacture meaning in the midst of their suffering; it's about finding meaning in the midst of it.
Viktor Frankl was a Jewish doctor who survived the Holocaust.(His story is quite fascinating.) He wrote, “Suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds meaning.” and “I think the meaning of our existence is not invented by ourselves, but rather detected.”
Viktor tells the story of being stripped of his own clothes & being given the tattered & dirty rags of a prisoner that had died. He discovered a piece of paper in the pocket of his new clothes & on it was written the Shema (Judaism’s foundational prayer, found in Deut.6:4). The word “shema” means to listen to & pay attention. It implies putting action to what you hear.
This testimony presupposes a Source beyond ourselves & supports the concept that the meaning of our lives, as well as our experiences are designed & filled with intrinsic purpose - to be discovered rather than invented. Scripture supports this truth. Not only are we given multiple stories of those who suffered in unimaginable ways, but we’re encouraged to persevere in our faith as they did in theirs. There is a Maker who created meaning & infused it into every situation we walk through.
Beachcombers look for & pick up pretty sea shells, sea glass, or a uniquely shaped piece of drift wood along the shoreline. They might even find something less common & more rare, like a sharks tooth or a sand dollar. God’s word tells us that He has hidden mysteries & secrets for believers to discover (Col.2:3, Isa.45:3, Prov.2:4, Mtt.13:44). And like my earthly father, who wanted to share what he discovered with his children, God wants to share His treasures with us.
I enjoy beach combing, but when I'm suffering I find more value in being a meaning-finding wordcomber.
GloryUsGate.blogspot.com
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(Note: Word count has necessitated turning this article/post into two parts. In my next installment, we’ll embark on a spiritual scavenger hunt of sorts. Let’s uncover what God’s word tells us to look for in the midst of our suffering. There is meaning - not to be made - but to be found.)
