(by Lorie Codispoti)
Have you ever walked through a season of utter brokenness? Not the kind of broken that comes as a result of bad choices. (That kind of brokenness will hopefully lead to repentance & restoration.) The kind I’m talking about is a cumulative form of brokenness that comes from circumstances that are beyond our ability to stop or control. It’s something we experience physically, emotionally, & spiritually - all at the same time.
The longer it lasts, the easier it is to see a pattern emerge. On the good days it looks & feels like you are moving forward & making progress. Then the next day comes & you are back to watching your heart shatter into pieces. The cycle repeats & you wonder if there is any way to escape the misery.
On those days I find myself crying out to God in a different way.
When I have exhausted all my words - words that go round & round like a record on a turntable - I ask God to turn down the noise in my head & help me to focus on using His words when I pray.
“I’m bruised and broken, overwhelmed by it all; breathe life into me again by your living word.” (Ps.119:107)
Not only do I find that His words express what is in my heart so perfectly, but as I petition my Father I’m countering the lies that bombard me. His Spirit reminds my heart of His truth & promises.
“The LORD is near to the broken in heart, & saves the crushed in spirit.” (Ps.34:18)
When we dive into this text we find that this kind of brokenness is referring to our inner life (mind, will, affections). The brokenhearted person realizes how inwardly shattered they are. They have discovered that they lack the ability to control any of their circumstances, & they recognize their desperate need for deliverance. And for those “crushed in spirit” God is saying He is close enough to touch. Our God draws near enough to bind up the wounds of those who are broken. (Ps.147:3, Isa.61:1)
God uses our brokenness to draw us to Himself & comfort us in our affliction.
But, there’s more!
We tend to be so one-dimensional that we stop short of understanding & embracing the broader nature of what it means to break. The Hebrew word is the same word used for giving birth. Rabbi Daniel Lapin expounds on this thought by saying that “The Lord’s language is teaching us that when something breaks and is destroyed, it also can give birth to something entirely new which can provide ongoing sustenance.”
In his book, Intimacy With God, Chaim Bentora points out a a truth that will infuse hope into your suffering. He says that one rendering for “broken” is “breakthrough,” & notes that “A broken heart is often an opportunity for a breakthrough in one’s heart.”
Have you ever thought of your brokenness as something that can result in a breakthrough - a new beginning?
When my heart has been shattered & I’m left with a gaping wound that pulsates with cyclical pain I have a choice to make. I can draw back, close my heart, & let the bitterness of loss consume me, OR I can open my heart & expose the wound, all while crying out to my Father for help. When I choose the later He intervenes & reminds me of how close He literally is. He then responds with a tender touch that draws me close & “breathes life into me again…”
Brokenness is a natural occurrence in a broken world. But, my broken heart does not have to lead me to a shattered end. When we cry out, God supernaturally breaks-through the dark clouds of the natural. His closeness gives birth to healing & greater intimacy with Him.
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Theological and Philosophically, what you are insinuating may be referred to as the "Dark Night of the Soul". Biblically speaking it can be referred to as the transfer to Kingship. Biblically the promotion of kingship in kingdom language requires a wound that may not heal. For example, Jacob when he wrestles with God he is touched on his thigh that never heals. Afterward he has the national name of Isreal instead of Jacob. Jesus in resurrection is glorified as king but still bears the holes in his hands and side. I think that is why elders in the church should be grey haired because it takes time to experience the Dark night of the Soul, but also time to wrestle though it to be able to come out the other side matured in a way you can't learn in school or any other venue. The darkness isn't necessarily evil (though it could be), but a maturing that can only be learned in the valley of the shadow death. I think it necessary to understand that it isn't a consequence for failure in some way or a sin, you aren't guilty of the darkness. It is necessary, though, because it teaches that even in innocence you can't control the outcome. It gives a perspective of the Divine; you learn to see from His eyes.
ReplyDeleteHe suffers long for us and our loved ones, and we can share in the Glory of His suffering. I think our response is important, it is good to fight and wrestle, as Paul shows he prayed to have the "thorn in his side" removed. He also understood that he was going to live with it as well. The darkness sovereignly mandated by God has a purpose, I think part of it is to teach us to long for that final Sabbath.
Hahaha we see the sliver of truth even in this:
"Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light."