Curtail Lying

(by Lorie Codispoti)

A friend recently posted a request, asking for suggestions on how to deal with her children lying to her. She received some very caring responses that I hope encouraged her heart.

Reading the thread had me thinking about how we dealt with lying when our children were young. My friend had already been given plenty of good counsel on how to handle her dilemma, so I chimed in with what I thought might help to counter the whole issue from the side of prevention.

Most kids lie - not simply because they don't want to get caught - but because they don't want to expose their sin nature and disappoint their parents and others.

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight. (Prov.12:22)

God hates lying, so to lie about something was one of the biggest offenses in our home. Our children knew it carried the harshest consequences. It was much more serious than the disappointing truth they attempted to cover up.

By way of prevention, we did something early on that drastically (and I mean drastically) reduced the number of times we ever dealt with lying.

Certainly, teach them about trust, respect, and how lying damages relationships, but all of these preferred outcomes are based on one very simple, yet profound, principle … safety. When children know that they are safe to tell the truth - even if it means disappointment, exposure, and consequences - they will run TO you with their offense rather than away from you with a lie.

What if Adam and Eve would have taken their offense directly to God instead of running away from Him? Would they have experienced the same loving God that we do when we resist the temptation to run away from Him, and run to Him instead? I think so!

We have a loving Father, who desires for us to run TO Him when we fail to live up to His prescription for holiness. A Father who beckons His children to come to Him, contrite and fully exposed. We are invited into His very presence and encouraged to lay all our guilt, shame, and remorse at His feet. His throne room is a merciful place where forgiveness is freely offered, and abundant grace is extended to every one of His children. When we know that we are safe and secure in our Father's love even His discipline is received with an open heart.

Create and cultivate a safe space for your children and you’ll discover that lying becomes less and less of an issue. This is how we crush the head of the lier himself.

The goal - no matter the offense - is, and always has been, restoration.

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